on the way home

as I was wiping my eyes
I thought of yours

and how
for the rest of my life
I only wanted a pair
of two different colored eyes

I could never decide
which one I liked more
the left or the right
but I pretended
the blue was my sea
and the hazel was my sky

I told myself
I wouldn't cry tonight
and that I could only be
sorry for myself
once or twice
but I will only meet you
once in this lifetime
and I will relive
the first night
like it was the last night
I might introduce myself
to a stranger
I've missed
this whole time

I knew I wanted you
to live in my bed
once you arrived
hourly
in my
watercolor memories
blue and green
and green and blue
every blue and green
was you

tonight
I will sleep with myself
and before I go to bed
I'll pretend
to kiss you
goodnight
and I'll pray
to my godless religion
that I'll be
your little spoon
by sunrise

I'll probably have
a funny dream
about how if I ever marry
you'd be my best man
and if I were to ever lose
one of my arms
you'd make a new one for me
with both of your hands

and if it has to happen
in another life
I'll ask all my friends
to pull my plug
each time
and they'll know why.

they'll know why
they'll know why
I changed the colors
of my eyes
in every other life
until then.